There are certain ways your brain is wired when you are growing up. You are getting to know the world's intricacies and how you play a part in it. When you are young, you take the observer position and try to sketch a picture of what the real world is like. It's a fun time of your life. You still don't have many prejudices and fallacies that have been internalized as truths. You are both learning about yourself: what you like to do, how you think, how you connect with other people, and about the grown-up world: what are grown-ups? Is everyone a de facto grown-up, or is it just size and age? Meanwhile, this happens in the midst of trying to fit in and develop your personality in a school environment where everyone is trying to do the same.
I've always followed the work of tech people, and I was always fascinated by how they grew a following. I've taken the same approach in social media as I did as a teen. I've been a keen practitioner of not sharing too much information while taking in and diving into what the people I admired published. That was fine for a couple of years since I hadn't completely developed my mind on those subjects, and I didn't want to share stuff that was mediocre and soon outdated in my view.
In addition, I've always been susceptible to people's perceptions of my skills and behavior. In a typical gathering setting, I don't sweat this stuff, but on a deeper level, this is always playing, even as a quiet hum in the back of my mind.
So, when it came time to pursue and share my discoveries and thoughts on the world, I backed out. I rationalized my way out of it. "I'm not done thinking about this", "There's no extra value in sharing this'", "I might change my mind". Now, I see that the real culprit was fear. Fear of a misstep, fear of no way back, fear of being vulnerable, and putting a target on myself. With the addition of my privacy concerns, this made it all that easy to back down and proceed on the same tune, just a spectator.
I don't think I'll bring anything revolutionary to the world, though who knows? The reality is that few individuals do; it's the combined work of multiple minds that pushes the world forward. An idea is always in development, and we can only kill it when we trap it for ourselves for too long, leaving it to asphyxiation or, even worse, oblivion. But if we share it instead, we give it a chance to thrive and develop in other people's minds. Even if you are selfish, know that the best way to evolve an idea is to discuss it with someone you find to be a good conversationalist. Don't be afraid to share. If tweets or Facebook posts don't float your boat, maybe writing long-form posts or even in forums can be the right move.
On Anonymity and Self-Expression
But wait, there's more. What about anonymity? I'm sure you don't want people you meet in high school or university to read these thoughts, right? After all, this isn't you...or better yet, they don't know this part of you. My genuine answer is - Who cares? You publicly share so anyone can access it. If people don't like it, they won't follow or read it; if they mock it...most likely, they won't do it in public as this could tarnish their reputation, so they'll do it in private, which you can't control, nor should you be striving to.
Dogs bark, birds chirp, people gossip and diss each other. Believe me, it's not you, it's them. They have these internal issues that they haven't fully solved (or even tried to, so they might be there forever): insecurity, envy, FOMO, and self-doubt. Everyone has their ghosts, and contrary to popular belief, they show up way more often than you think. Not in what you say but in the way you say it. Not on what you say you believe but on how you act. Not in what you push out as your personality/happiness/energy, but in what you strive to forcibly push - over sympathy, false caring, over questioning.
A New Chapter
Interesting side note: Many famous people that we follow and admire were once just regular Joes who, through their line of work- musician, actor, writer, activist- exposed a bigger part of who they are to the world. I've always been unfazed by the new so-called influencers, especially because many of those are not my cup of tea, and many more do not have the most honest agendas. But are we at the forefront of a new chapter of humanity where everyone shares their feelings and thoughts and has the same access to tools and platforms, regardless of money and status? If so, it seems fitting, and I'm eager to help.
For what concerns me, I'll do my part. This is my first publication, my first shout to the whole www. I'm João, and I'm eager to share my genuine, always-in-construction thoughts with you. I invite you to join in; don't just stay on the sidelines.