Idea Man

"When you grow up and have a job, do something you love. Whatever you do, you should love it." He’d repeat this to me over the years with conviction. Later I’d figure out what he meant: Do as I say, not as I’ve done. Much later, my mother told me that my father had wrestled with his career choice. He suspected he might be happier coaching football than managing libraries, but he finally chose the safe and practical route, a nine-to-five life under fluorescent lights. Lots of men from his generation did the same.

But he wanted me to choose better.

But I also heard what he didn’t say: He never told me to stop. In the Allen household, children were treated like grown-ups. Our parents encouraged us at whatever we tried, and exposed us to Bach and jazz and flamenco, but it was more than that. They respected us as individuals who needed to find our own place in the world.

My dad was less than enthusiastic. "This software work seems to be a distraction," he said. "I don’t agree with your choice, but you’re old enough to make your own decisions." When the day came that August for Rita and me to leave, he got the family Chrysler washed and filled it with gas. Regardless of what they thought, my parents always did what they could to support me.

For a time I was happy traveling back and forth to France and spending time with Francoise. I thought I’d retire at age thirty and follow my inclinations; once Microsoft went public, I’d never have to worry about money. But after a year and a half of vacationing, I got restless. I saw what happened to my father after he’d traded his librarian’s job for fishing and his garden. He seemed diminished, somehow. I didn’t want that to happen to me. Luckily, some new ideas lay in wait.

NASA’s unmanned rockets are built to withstand 25 percent more than the maximum aerodynamic loads, which translates to a safety margin of 1.25. In the space shuttle, the margin is 1.4; on commercial airliners, it’s 1.6. But in SpaceShipOne, the wings were built with a margin of 2.1 and the cabin, 3.0. (Burt wanted higher margins in the cabin because his pilots would be flying without pressurized spacesuits.) Both the nitrous oxide tank and the rocket motor, the components most vulnerable to catastrophe, were also overengineered by a factor of 3.0, which now gave Burt crucial leeway.

iconoclast

sage

My illness didn’t turn my head around the way Hodgkin’s had, but it has left its mark. I want more than ever to cram as much as I can into life.

Later, when the IBM PC shipped with our operating system at its core, it struck me that the code I had helped to write would fundamentally change the way people worked, played, and communicated. Having that kind of impact forever changes your sense of purpose in life. It’s a feeling you’ll always want to find again.

When I became gravely ill in my twenties, I found myself regretting that my life was so narrowly focused. But after I recovered and traveled the world, I soon became restless. I discovered that what I missed most was creating things. And so I went back to work

SOME PEOPLE ARE motivated by a need for recognition, some by money, and some by a broad social goal. I start from a different place, from the love of ideas and the urge to put them into motion and see where they might lead. The creative path is rocky, with the risk of failure ever present and no guarantees. But even with its detours and blind alleys, it’s the only road that I find fulfilling.

I have many people to thank. If anyone is omitted here, it reflects the limits of my memory and not of my gratitude